This is my rather self-obsessed effort at recreating The Guardian’s ‘Starters’ feature from the Saturday magazine. Although (here’s the defence) last time I did this with the ‘My Media’ section, it kind of worked.
I know what you’re about to say, and yes, I am aware that this is a bit rubbish. Here’s the deal; I’m getting rid of the totally narcissistic ‘more about me’ page, so the least you can do is read through this. It’s pretentious, it’s lengthy, it presumes I’ve enough life experience to fill it out, but I don’t care. I like the feature and I’ve always wanted to answer the questions. So there.
Here goes… (And I SWEAR I will never, ever talk in the third person ever again. I promise (unless it’s for a joke).)
Jed Hallam, 22, was born in Nottingham. He went to Swanwick Hall School and then to Nottingham Trent University before falling into public relations, and then, at 22 joined Wolfstar. His 2-year career has spanned lots of stuff. He is currently writing this post (but not if you’re currently reading it, that would be a bit too post-modern).
When were you happiest?
My 22nd birthday at a village in Siam Reap and we spent the whole evening in a house on stilts in a local village. The family we stayed with put up Christmas lights and the children from the village made hats. It was the first time I’ve ever used the phrase ‘breathtaking’ and not meant it sarcastically.
What is your earliest memory?
No tears please. My earliest memory is my mum moving out of my dads house and my granddad carrying a bunk bed across the road to a van.
Which living person do you most admire?
Now, not very easy. Matthew Freud.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I think things through and overanalyse things in every situation. It’s great for work, but not with friends!
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
I hate people that scheme and play games.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Probably going up on stage at the CIPR Awards with someone else’s tuxedo on, a ladies scarf around my neck and a glass of wine in my hand. Not cool.
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
Me and my girlfriend, Laura, ended up spending a ridiculous amount while travelling. Silly money, but worth every single penny.
What would your super power be?
Telepathy.
What makes you depressed?
My friends or family being upset and me not being able to do anything about it.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would it be?
Dinosaurs. As a young boy I was absolutely obsessed.
What is your most unappealing habit?
I twitch my legs incessantly. It only bugs people within a close vicinity, but my God does it bug people.
What is your favourite word?
(Sarcastically) Yes!
What is your favourite book?
The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde.
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
David Bowie (Space Oddity era).
What is the worst thing anyone has ever said to you?
You’re too small for me to go out with (my current girlfriend, over five years ago).
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
SingStar, without a doubt. I own seven discs.
What do you owe your parents?
My humour, my obsessive personality, my humanity.
To whom would you like to say sorry to most, and why?
My longest standing friends that have remained despite my odd phases, my irritating phases and my current phase.
What does love feel like?
Love is a look.
Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
Yes.
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Wilde, Beckett, Freud (both Matthew and Sigmund), Nick Cave, Lennon and Dylan Moran.
What is the worst job you have ever done?
Grouting my Dad’s back yard.
When did you last cry, and why?
I cried at Slumdog Millionaire.
How do you relax?
I lie on the sofa with Laura and wine and watch awful television. I also jog to relieve particularly bad stress.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Circum-navigating the world without any hitches.
What song would you liked played at your funeral?
Barber – Adagio for strings, Live and let die – Guns’n’Roses and Oasis – Champagne Supernova.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That if you really want something, you can have it.
Tell us a joke.
(My Dad will love this) A man walks into a bar… (he’s never told me the end).
Now, I’d like to tag Amy Johnston, Jay Jay and Matthew Watson.